and here with me now is rachel hope. and you know i should start off by pointing out because people watch that, nobody is saying that street ecstasy is safe. a lot of times you don't know what you're getting, for sure if you're not in a controlled setting what it is doing to you. but that was not to situation for you, necessarily. you were doing this in a controlled setting. what was it like? you had never done anything like this before. >> yeah, i had never done anything like that. but it made it so comfortable for me, and prepared me, so when i -- i got the medicine, i had an idea what would happen. but it was pretty remarkable. >> you described it, if i remember correctly, like your brain lit up like a christmas tree. most people have no idea what that means, they have never done this. >> i don't either, i really want to know why it felt like that. like all of my systems were lit up. like i was -- just -- had all of this access to my mind, and i could control where i was thinking and going. and look at things differen